And Then Everything Changed Podcast - Episode 7: Survival in our Bones ft. Abigail Carter

Episode 7: Survival in our Bones ft. Abigail Carter

After her husband’s death in the 9/11 World Trade Center attack, Abigail Carter’s grief cracked her wide open. During an intense period of national mourning she rejected public memorials and found a way to grieve and remember her husband in her own way.


For years after her abuser died, she was drawn to a pressure cooker-life similar to the combat zone she had known at home and for years she would ask herself why she was unlovable. That all changed on a crucial day in young adulthood when she understood in her bones that what had happened to her was not who she was; that what she had experienced was profoundly damaging but she didn’t have to keep reliving her past.

It was the day she decided to stop letting the words of her abuser control her life or dictate her actions; the day she understood the power to survive was in her hands. Alesha shares her story and suggestions for reaching out to those who might be struggling, the signs of elevated sadness in others, and how to approach loved ones who might be in trouble.

Please note that during this interview, we encountered some sound inconsistencies.


Alesha Brown is a victim, survivor, leader, motivational speaker and author. She is the owner of Alesha Brown LLC, which offers author/writing consultation services to help people write their story and share their testimony. As a childhood abuse survivor, she is on a mission to reverse the damage of abuse by encouraging survivors to write their story in order to pay it forward and create a circle of healing.


Click here for more on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

Resources for the prevention of child abuse:
Prevent Child Abuse
Prevent Together


I’m a writer, a teacher, a native New Yorker, and I love hearing about people’s lives. When I think back to my elementary school days at PS 20 in Flushing, Queens whenever we began social studies or a history lesson I wasn’t that interested in learning about battles, topography, or politics. What I wanted to know was how people lived: What their families were like, how they adapted to their circumstances, what they ate, how they celebrated, how they felt.
Sociology became my major at Binghamton University and in my life so far I’ve been an actress, a salesperson, a Zoo Keeper’s Aid, a volunteer animal trainer, an ELL teacher, a mother, and a wife. I’m grateful for the experiences I’ve had, all of which led me to create this podcast which is one of the most rewarding projects I’ve undertaken. I couldn’t ask for a better job than having in-depth conversations with survivors, thought leaders, authors, social justice warriors, and people who believe that we are all connected and then getting to share their stories, insight, and vulnerability with listeners.
I’m so glad you’ve landed on this page. I hope you find stories here which resonate with you and that you’ll tune in every week. 
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