ATEC - Episode 59: Living Through the Loss of a Spouse ft. Mark Schutter

Episode 59: Living Through the Loss of a Spouse featuring Mark Schutter

The hardest moment in Mark Schutter’s life was when he had to walk out of the hospital room where his wife had just died, knowing he would go back to their empty house alone. Mark and his wife met in college and were married for five years over which time she was diagnosed with cancer twice.


Mark was her main anchor; in charge of her state of mind and health through her battle. His 20s were full of sleepless nights, fear of loss, and the weight of being the sole care provider, yet he had few resources to support him. Though he felt broken he also believed that men were not supposed to express their feelings and he tried to carry on without help.

 Several years later Mark remarried and with his wife’s encouragement and insight began to acknowledge the pain he’d experienced. He’s worked with a therapist—something he never would have done years ago—and has just completed a memoir, Cowboys Are Not Supposed To Cry, for people who have loved and lost, and need help moving on, especially men, who like Mark, may not always know how to allow themselves to be vulnerable. 

Mark Wayne believes we each must be the hero of our own life’s story, for no one else could be. He fights for others, seeks truth, writes poetry and stories while often stumbling along the way. He has navigated the pain of loss and grief to find hope and love again. Taking his journal entries and other writings, he has penned his first book, Cowboys Are Not Supposed To Cry, a memoir. Grief is not something you just get over and his book tells his story of living a life while carrying grief. Mark has poems published in several poetry anthologies on the topics of love, loss, grief, healing, hope and self-discovery. He has worked in customer service, human resources, organizational development and change management positions, helping others navigate their own life changes. He is currently editing his three part novel series “The Chronicles of Faith” for publication. Mark resides in the Pacific Northwest with his wife and daughter, exploring dusty back roads always searching for his next great adventure. You can connect with Mark on his website.



I’m a writer, a teacher, a native New Yorker, and I love hearing about people’s lives. When I think back to my elementary school days at PS 20 in Flushing, Queens whenever we began social studies or a history lesson I wasn’t that interested in learning about battles, topography, or politics. What I wanted to know was how people lived: What their families were like, how they adapted to their circumstances, what they ate, how they celebrated, how they felt.
Sociology became my major at Binghamton University and in my life so far I’ve been an actress, a salesperson, a Zoo Keeper’s Aid, a volunteer animal trainer, an ELL teacher, a mother, and a wife. I’m grateful for the experiences I’ve had, all of which led me to create this podcast which is one of the most rewarding projects I’ve undertaken. I couldn’t ask for a better job than having in-depth conversations with survivors, thought leaders, authors, social justice warriors, and people who believe that we are all connected and then getting to share their stories, insight, and vulnerability with listeners.
I’m so glad you’ve landed on this page. I hope you find stories here which resonate with you and that you’ll tune in every week. 
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ATEC (Episode 10) (ATEC Pin 3)